


Scars

by tresa_cho



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Angst, Community: hc_bingo, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-05
Updated: 2011-09-05
Packaged: 2017-10-23 10:39:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/249383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tresa_cho/pseuds/tresa_cho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim catches sight of Leonard's history through the marks on his body.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scars

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: Mention of previous self-harm and potentially triggering subject matter. Please tread carefully.
> 
> rawr_balrog is completely the brains behind this op. I just write.

Jim froze in the doorway to his room. He liked to think nothing surprised him anymore. He read people well. He knew how personalities reacted to different stimuli, and how to get his way. He was prepared for almost anything.

He wasn't prepared for the sight of Bones stripping off his shirt in Jim's room.

He was even less prepared to see the long, slender scars arching up his forearm.

“Oh my god, Bones,” he said, voice choked off. His throat felt like it was squeezing shut on him. He could barely breathe.

Bones whirled, shirt in hands. “Jim. What's wrong?”

Jim didn't remember crossing the room, or grabbing Bones' wrist, exposing scarred flesh to the light. Bones tried to pull away, but Jim held him firm. “What are these?” Jim asked hoarsely, pressing his thumb into thin white lines on the inside of Bones' arm.

“It's nothing, Jim,” Bones said, his voice oddly strained. “They're just scars.”

“These aren't 'just' scars,” Jim said, trying to keep his voice steady. He had seen these marks before. Drenched in blood on deathly pale skin... “Did you try to kill yourself?”

“For chrissake, Jim.” Bones tore his arm away, but Jim lurched forward to compensate. He grabbed Bones' face, pulling him close.

“It's okay, Bones. It's okay.” Jim whispered the words against Bones' lips, molding his body to the doctor's when the man reached for him.

“Jim, it's not what you think,” Bones said finally, fingers light on Jim's hip. Jim drew back, holding Bones' head in place.

“Explain why you have those on your arm,” Jim said. Bones closed his eyes, lips pressed firmly together. Jim lowered his hands to Bones' shoulders, giving him a small shake. “Bones. You can't leave me. You can't-”

“I need to sit down,” Bones said roughly. Jim nudged him gently backwards, sitting him on the edge of the mattress. He knelt between Bones' legs, arms resting lightly on the outside of the doctor's thighs. Bones dropped his face into one hand, shoulders slumping. Jim reached for the hand, tugging it down and gripping it.

“Talk to me,” he pleaded. “Whatever it is, we can get through it. Bones. Please.” He covered the scars with his hand, digging his fingers into warm, live flesh. Bones lifted his free hand to tug through Jim's hair absently.

“We lost the baby,” he said.

Jim felt suffocated by his own horrified silence.

“Bones... I-” Jim didn't know what to say. He grabbed both of Bones' hands and held tight.

“It was going to be a girl,” Bones went on determinedly. “We were going to name her Joanna. She was the most beautiful baby girl in the world. We did everything right. Ate right, slept right. Didn't drink, didn't smoke... Sometimes things just... happen.”

“It wasn't your fault, Bones,” Jim said quietly.

“I know that,” Bones said sharply. “It wasn't Joce's fault either.” He took a shuddering breath. “She took it so hard. She took it real hard. She... She started hurting herself.” Jim tightened his grip on Bones' fingers, unable to speak. His entire body felt numb. “I should have caught it sooner. I should have picked up on the signs.”

“Bones, there's no way- You can't put that on yourself,” Jim said. Bones didn't meet his eyes. “Hey. Leonard,” Jim urged softly. He grasped Bones' chin and forced his eyes upward. “You couldn't have known.”

“She wouldn't stop,” Bones said, his eyes unfocused. “So I sat her on the bed. Just like this. And... I showed her. I showed her how much it _hurt_.” He freed his fingers from Jim's grasp, drawing blunt nails along the lines in his arm. “She was using a steak knife from our kitchen. And she cried when I bled. She begged me to stop.” Bones' voice broke.

Jim surged up against him, wrapping him in a fierce embrace. Bones tucked his face into Jim's throat, breathing harshly. He shook violently in Jim's arms.

“I didn't stop. Not till she swore to stay with me. To stop hurting herself.” He sucked in a rasping breath. “We bled all over the sheets. The mattress was ruined.” Jim dug his fingers into Bones' flesh, sure he was hurting Bones. Neither cared.

Bones gently untangled himself, leaning away from Jim to take a steadying breath. Jim let his hands slide down Bones' shoulders, to cup the arm between them. He bent over the marks, pressing his lips gently along the length of each. Bones' hand found the back of Jim's neck, heavy and uncomfortably hot on his skin.

“I kept them,” Bones said. “I had to. She had to see them. And then... when she left... I didn't feel anything. I had to keep them. So that I could remember...”

Jim pressed his free hand into Bones' thigh, mouthing wet kisses to the scars. Bones' hand tightened in his hair. Jim uncurled himself from his crouch, his mouth working along Bones' skin. Bones let his head roll back as Jim scraped teeth over his throat. Jim pushed him back against the mattress, lining their bodies, pressing every hard line of his body to Bones'. He swallowed down Bones' hoarse gasp.

“I've got you, Bones,” Jim said, breath hot on Bones' lips. “I've got you.”

Bones arched against him and clutched him tight.


End file.
